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Saturday, September 29, 2012

Ixtapa - Land of Enchantment

Ixtapa is apparently a favorite vacation/weekend-getaway location for Mexican nationals. I can say this because since I have read all of the Sherlock Holmes books, my deductive senses are keen. And I was the only white guy there. Well, me and a frighteningly immodest fellow who was wearing one of those small, tight bathing suits that only he does not frown upon. I assume (again, with my brilliant deductive reasoning) that he is from Europe and does not count. So to sum up briefly: Ixtapa is a local secret of which only me and some forward-thinking Europeans are aware.
Europeans - Unashamed Forward-Thinkers
Ixtapa and its sister-city, Zithuatanejo (famous for being the place to which Andy Dufresne and his pal Red escaped in "The Shawshank Redemption") are beautiful resort towns and are teeming with the much-sought-after "all-inclusive" hotels, where they slip a wrist band on you that gives you carte' blanche to all the buffet food and beverages of choice that you can ingest. This can be good or bad - you do the math.
There are also a delightful variety of activities such as shopping, sight-seeing, henna-tattoos and para-sailing for the hearty. My wife chose to try the para-sailing, for which I was happy to pay - I live my anti-thrill-seeking life vicariously through others and it is convenient that she is nearby for such things. The para-sailing master whispered that for another 100 pesos, she would not come back safely. I passed on this add-on, not having the wherewithal nor the extra ten dollars in my pocket, but this is valuable information to have, nonetheless...
The highlight of the trip, aside from the free food, booze and karaoke (during which I sang "Jump" by Van Halen, to the quiet appreciation of those in attendance, who howled and cried their way through an evening of mostly morose Mexican fare. I nailed the song and was totally under appreciated. You've got to know your audience, I suppose.), was the migration of the baby turtles to the sea. This was performed with much pomp and circumstance and the way was led by two very serious Aztec people in full garb. They may have been Incas - the narrator was speaking much too quickly for me to make this
My wife, the intrepid Thrill-Seeker...
out. After much to-do, the little critters were scooped from a large plastic storage bin (which took something away from the traditional Aztec costumes) and wave after wave of the incoming tide came in and swept the baby turtles out to sea. This was accompanied by some dramatic classical music that was piped in through a little Berringer P.A. Not a lot of power in these units, I have found, but it seemed to do the job for this venue - many were teary-eyed, so the music did its job. I, however, was not teary-eyed, still being a bit grossed out by the forward-thinking European.
Still appalled.
All in all, a very pleasant trip and a splendid time was had by all. I got too much sun and ate too much and drank too much, but so is the way of the reveler. If one pays for all-inclusive, one is not to be shortchanged. To do otherwise would be bad form.

Not to be shortchanged.


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