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Thursday, May 24, 2012

It's like hitting the lotto... Sort of...

I watched a news story - which I kind of resent, because I am unable to skim as efficiently - about a young man from a township in Pennsylvania that one day discovered $69,300 in his checking account. What is a township, anyway? Isn't that like a burg, or something - one of the many cozy homilies that should be retired for the tried and true monikers such as "town" or "city"? If I lived in a township, I might gullible, too - such is the life of a townshipper... Anyhow, the young man had been under the impression that he only had around $40 in his account, shrugged his shoulders, chalked up the extra $69,000 to his own faulty bookkeeping and set about spending his new-found windfall.

What luck, huh? I wish my bank-math was that poor. Anyhow, in a shocking turn of events, his math was better than he thought and the extra $69, 260 was indeed a misstep on the part of the folks at Wells Fargo and had been inadvertently deposited into his account. Unfortunately, in the time that it took for the bank to discover their error, the lad had managed to squander $67, 000 of it, on such things as a used Pontiac, a $600 puppy, a trip to Florida and cash given to family members to help pay their bills.

There were no mentions of Las Vegas, hookers, booze-fueled shenanigans or bling. But of course, he only had $69,000 to work with - he had to be frugal.

But still...

A quick call to the bank might have made a little more sense than to make handouts willy-nilly. And I imagine that he could have probably found a puppy at a shelter that might have cost him much less, even if it lacked the $600 dog's dazzling smile. And a Pontiac? Really? If you're going to go blow some new-found loot on a ride, make it count, man! Go used if you must, but shop up. Since you're most likely going to have to give it back anyhow (and don't tell me the thought wasn't tickling the back of his brain on each and every one of those trips to the ATM), just put a decent down-payment on a BMW or something. Then, keep a couple grand rolled up in your pockets and let the festivities begin. That's right, ladies - B-M-W... Back that statement with some Earth, Wind and Fire blasting out of all 18 of those speakers and roll through the reds, because life is too short to fully stop once you're embarked on that borrowed-money/borrowed-time field trip, my friend.

But I digress.

Now the bank wants its money back and most of it is nowhere to be found. I imagine the Pontiac will be going back to Honest Sam's Quality Used Cars and the puppy back to the mill, but our intrepid free-spending hero is now on the line for the money and is coming under charges for robbery and some stolen property infractions. Oops. Should have gone with the Beemer.

The article says that the young man is now "looking for a job" so that he can begin the process of repayment. Which is awesome - this means he didn't even have equitable employment when the money mysteriously appeared in his account. Brilliant - what did he really think happened here? Magic? A benevolent benefactor who saw his promise and wished to anonymously contribute? Surely not a clerical error... And probably no need to check - this looks legit... Anyhow, as always with such things, I hope it all turns out well and that the young fellow doesn't have to do too much serious time in the klink. And I sincerely hope that he learned something from all this. But next time, buy a nice guitar that will be waiting for you when you get out of stir.

And go with the Beemer.

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