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Tuesday, February 7, 2012

What the roses mean...

Jesus, apparently there is an entire hidden code-system in the delivery of roses worthy of the Enigma Machine. Who knew that delivering different quantities of roses could have hidden messages? I always based the quantities of roses that I would send to a maiden on the amount of currency I had in my wallet, divided by the degree of commitment I was willing to commit to the relationship being celebrated.

I was astonished to learn on my drive home this evening that the amount of red roses one sends a lady expresses the level of love and commitment to the lady in question. Who knew? It turns out that a single rose is a symbol of infatuation. I thought it was a symbol that I only have a buck and a half in my pocket and how far will that get me in the sexual sweepstakes...

I may have forgotten some of the details, but this is what I recall:
A Single rose means: Love at first sight.
3 roses means: I am falling for you - but in a powerful way.
A dozen roses means: Be mine - thinking of you 12 months a year.
13 roses means: I'm your secret admirer.
15 roses means: Please forgive me.
2-dozen roses means: I am yours - thinking of you 24 hours a day.

That said, after diligent research, here are the meanings behind some forgotten numbers of roses:
5 roses means: I should've had a V-8.
7 roses means: I swear to everything holy that I won't come in your mouth.
8 roses means: I would like you to be my number one bitch.
9 roses means: Could you leave quietly, please?
10 roses means: I spilled some cheap brandy on your carpet - forgive me.
11 roses means: I think about you 11 months out of the year.

I was equally surprised at these findings - if you have any insights of your own of further lore regarding any other numbers, please let me know and in the meantime, have a delightful Valentine's day.

1 comment:

  1. Maybe I'm a naive romantic, but the number of roses means nothing as far as I'm concerned. The amount given should correlate to what the giver can comfortably afford, accompanied by a generous heart. The important thing is to not buy the really, really cheap ones that are sold by the roadside. To make those look nice and fresh, they peel off a few petals. Then they are dead in the recipient's vase after 1 - 2 days. Just a little additional info for you to tuck away. Happy Valentine's Day to you!