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Monday, June 25, 2012

Christians Against Evolution - Enough, already!

Let's have a big hand for the Eternity Christian Acadamy in Westlake, Louisiana. In their curricula, a science class will be taught that insists that the Loch Ness Monster is alive and well and thus proves that evolution is nothing more than an elaborate hoax.


Okay, forget for a moment that the legendary photo of The Loch Ness Monster - and, coincidentally, the only real photographic evidence of the beast - was debunked and proven to be a child's pull-toy being dragged through the shallows. Let's pretend that there is still some doubt and that the air around the Scottish lake still swirls with intrigue...

Even if there was a puncher's chance that a giant, prehistoric dinosuar-fish-thing still patrolled the the frigid Scottish waters, I would still not buy into the theory that evolution was therefore fiction. If a T-Rex showed up at my front door and ate my children, I would still be unable to connect the dots on that one. I would miss my kids, of course, but I would in no way associate their death-by-dinosaur with the fact that this made Charles Darwin a charlatan mountebank.

The Eternity Christian Acadamy also teaches exactly what God created, by hand, on each of the first six days, while evolution is not taught. I added the "by hand" part. I figure if the school poo-poohs evolution, they most likely do not embrace the idea that God used power tools or the wheel or a good, strong lever while putting the Earth in order. And I hope they listed sources - I want to know who scribed that work schedule. The principal says they do not teach evolution because the school wants to stay away from things that "might confuse the children". This is probably for the best - there will be enough confusion when the kids are released from the Christian Academy Bubble into the world. Evolution will most likely be the last thing on their delicate little Louisianian minds.

These schools also use "Bible-Based Math Books" - which apparently teach that imaginary sea monsters and an outdated book of timely fairy tales equals "No Evolution". I applaud them, however, for sticking with what they believe is right. By all means, teach what you believe in - you want to teach the bible, please do so. But this kind of one-sided teaching-by-omission cannot possibly be doing these children any favors. Please - Louisiana already has one of the lowest math and science rankings in the country - this will not help, that much I am willing to guarantee.

Hasn't Louisiana been the butt of enough ass-backward, hillbilly jokes over the years? Do they really need this one teed up for disbelieving heathens like myself? Probably not - well done, Eternity Christian Acadamy... What time are we burning "To Kill A Mockingbird" this evening? I want to make sure I bring stuff for S'mores.

1 comment:

  1. I think some of the textbooks in the south still teach that they won the Civil War.